As a child, while I was fighting through terrible feelings all the time, I’d notice how the kids around me would seem effortless in their ability to play. I was totally envious of this carefree lifestyle! I’d watch them with reckless abandon play and laugh and would ponder what it would be like to be that free! I didn’t know how to do it. I felt stuck inside myself, frozen, and imprisoned- wanting so badly for these burdens I was never meant to carry to be lifted.
I would study these kids and hope by mimicking them, I could too be this happy.
But many times I found comfort in connecting with an adult around me that felt safe instead (like a teacher, or a friend’s parent).
I did have friends! I just had a hard time relating to anyone my age, they didn’t seem to carry the serious heavy burdens that I did. While the children were off twirling about, I felt hostage in my body of reservation and fear.
I was worried about so many things all the time and always so stressed inside. I missed out on a lot because the outside world was so overwhelming to me and so frightening. I became hyper aware of my surroundings at all times. And seemed to never be able to let that guard down. I would scan for possible danger over and over and over to the point of exhaustion.
I remember learning in science class that one day the sun would swallow the earth (nice one teacher!). While the kids seemed to leave the lesson in the class room, I compulsively would worry that at any time I would burn up.
I was so bound in fear of surviving that I missed the emotional freedom and liberty so many children have. And as you can imagine, by a young age I was having full blown panic attacks- the kind where I was convinced I was dying and would feel out of control in my own body and complete terror would overcome me.
Most of my community is so wonderfully loving, and I’m sure reading this sparks some desire to go back and help childhood Ash. And while I so love your heart, I want you to hear me on something….
It’s easy to see childhood Ash as suffering and wanting to comfort her.
But today…. the victory is mine (thank you God!), I am free….
I live in an incredible amount of emotional freedom, I’ve been liberated from the chains of suffering, and my natural state of being today is a deep state of joy. That doesn’t mean I don’t have challenges in life, I do! But my natural state of emotions, my center is a deep peace and joy.
Now as an adult, I feel like that free child I always wished I could be. However this time, I look out to all the adults around me….. so many present day who are bound in emotional suffering, the effects of trauma, stress, worry, burn out, and so on…. their innocences robbed and their joy fleeting. They wear the chains I once did.
The same way your heart feels reading any of my childhood stories, is how my heart feels watching so many adults these days.
And that’s why my private practice is devoted to helping souls transform, hearts heal, lives be set free, and dreams become realities.
You are loved.
And you don’t have to silently suffer anymore.
Please reach out if you want support via my website (there’s a place to request a consultation with me to explore if my services are right for you).
Leading results based Celebrity Life Coach, Ashley specializes in emotional freedom, inner healing, unconscious and conscious mind transformation, and the internal resources necessary for success. There are solutions to suffering! . Ashley is known for helping her clients have radical lasting transformations and move into a state of thriving, joy centered living, and success. .